Dirty Habits
by Yuffie Valentine
Summary: What kinda sick perverts are Cloud, Aeris, Red XIII, Tifa, Barret, Cait Sith, Cid, Vincent, and Yuffie?! Read to find out what they do in a hotel one night.


Dirty Habits

By Yuffie Valentine

Takes place after Cloud goes on the date.

It's a rainy night over Gold Saucer, and we find Cloud's crew deciding what to do with the rest of the night.

"We can go on the roller coaster again!" Vincent said, jumping up and down. Yuffie had given Vincent large amounts of candy and sugar so that he would be more fun.

"For the last time, No! We already rode it 15 time. Plus, both me and Yuffie have lost our dinners already cause of it. " Cloud said.

"Well we could we the play again." Aeris said.

"That play sucked ass!" Cid said, he didn't like playing Alfredo last time, and he really didn't like having Red XIII as Princess Rosa.

"Why don't we just call it a night then?" Cait Sith said.

"Sounds good to me!" Yuffie said, "But wait, that means we have to go to the hotel. And that means ones of us is going to have to share a room with Barret."

"On no, I did it last time!" Cid said.

"So I snore a little, big deal." Barret pouted. He hated getting made fun of.

"Hey, I made a bunch of GP on racing, why don't I just pay for everyone to have their own room?" Red XIII said.

"How much did you make?" Yuffie asked, her greed rising.

"5000." Red XIII replied.

"What, how did you make that much?" Cloud asked.

"Cause I can talk to the birds before the race." Red XIII smiled and started to walk toward the hotel.

"Well, let's go!" Yuffie yelled and the group followed Red XIII.

A little time later we see everyone in their own room and locking their doors for the night, but what are they doing behind closed doors? Let's take a look.....

We first visit Cloud...

"Oh these damn heels! They're so hard to walk in. Hmmmm, damn I am one sexy bitch!" Cloud said.

He stood in front of the mirror looking at himself.He was wearing a tight fittting green cocktail dress.In platform heels and pantiehose.It seems after that one time in the WallMarket when he dressed up to save Tifa, he has gotten use to the feeling.

"Ahhh, no, my eye make up is running, ah shit!" Cloud said. He felt like crying, but that would only make it worse.

After that disturbing little sight, we move on to Aeris.We find her laying on her bed typing away at a laptop.

"Let's see, 'Hi my name is NaughtyAngelFlower69 and I wanna please you in everyway I can.If you want to get with me for a little cybering, just IM me! ', Hmm, that's get them typing one handed." Aeris giggled to herself and watched the replies come in.

Ewww, didn't need to know that Aeris. Anyways, on to Barret.

We find him putting a CD in his boombox.

"Let's see, skip it to number 2!" Barret press the skip button and play. And lovely tune starts to play.

Voice on Cd:" You are my fire, the one desire, Believe when I say , I want it that way."

"Ohhhhh, Brian sings like an angel, oh here comes Nick's part!" Barret jumped up in down. Yes, it's true, Barret was a Backstreet Boys fan.

"I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY,I WANT IT THAT WAY!" Barret sang along.

Now we move on Red XIII, he seems to be doing something normal enough, looks like he's watching a movie....

"RUN SIMBA RUN!" Red XIII yelled at the screen, "Oh no, his dad died, oh Simba, I feel your pain."

Red XIII wipes a tearfrom his eye and blows his nose, this part always made him cry. He much better liked when they sang and danced around.

Okay, I was wrong about Red XIII, Cait Sith has to be normal, it's a machine toy.......

"Come on Doll, stop being so hard, you can relax. It's Just you, me, and my pet mog here. Why don't you take off that jacket you look hot." The little toy cat said.

"Well okay, I never did anything like this before, I mean, be with something not human!" Elena said. She removed her jacket and tossed it on to the floor.

"Believe me, once you've had toy cat, you never go back!" Cait Sith said and turned out the light on their little love making.

Okay, that was just sick, Vincent is the shy type, he wouldn't have anything weird going on...would he?

We find him on a laptop, but unlike Aeris who uses her's for Sex chat, Vincent is writing something.

"Hmmmm, let's see, Selphie and Irvine make a cute couple, I'll put them together. I ain't writing anything for that bastard Squall and that bitch Riona." He said typing away to fanfiction.net.

Yes, Vincent is A Final Fantasy 8 FanFic writer, but that is pretty cool so I guess we'll leave him alone.

We now join Cid in his room, playing with his favorite toy....

"Come on Furbie, do want to sing." Cid said petting the little electronic pet.

"Furbie want eat, Furbie want eat!" It replied.

"Okay then." Cid says and pressed the little button in Furbie's mouth.

"Yummmm" Furbie sounded.

"Oh how cute!" Cid smiled and hugged it , "I love you Furbie!"

Riiiight, next we join Tifa, I am not even going to try to think she's normal.....

"Die bitch die!" Tifa Yells and sticks another needle into the Aeris Voodoo Doll.

"You think you're better then me?" Tifa says and takes another drink from her bottle of rum," He loved me first, I had him first, and I had Zack too, that's right. When Zacky boy came to check the reactor, he checked out more then the reactor."

Tifa throws the doll at the wall,"Where is my life going, I'm in my 20's and I am chasing after a guy who can't even remember who he really is, what happened to my life?" She takes one more drink and passes out on the bed.

Now last but not least we join Yuffie...

But wait she's not in her room, she's on thewindow ledges of her friends' rooms with her trusty camera.

"Oh boy what a bunch of nutballs. Hmmm, but Vinny those look cute their with his little laptop." Yuffie said, taking another few ones of him. "Well, better get back inside and see how much I can get for these pictures from Shinra."

Fin

This took 20 minutes to think of and write, so I think I did pretty good, review please!


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